Masks
by borntofly-butstill-unwritten
Summary: Time has passed, things have changes, and our masks are better now. All this time I ve run away from darkness, but I ve become darkness. Well, on the outside. The only one who will save me is me. (Soundtrack & Tumblr on my profile) [This is the traduction of my fic "Máscaras"]
1. Just a usual match

**_I do not own digimon._**

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**_Chapter 1_**

The whistle announces the start of the half time.

The crowd screams, the players leave the court, the referee checks the points, the cheerleaders start their routines and the mascots, to fight. "Yeah, sweet high school" I think while eating a chocolate.

I´m Hikari Yagami, 17 years old. Everyone knows me for being Taichi Yagami´s (aks Tai, aka the best football player ever of this school) sister. I´m just the little protégée of _The Titan_, every boy´s idol, every girl´s crush. No one ever noticed the small girl that went to every one of his brother´s games, many others went too. The little one never got notice even if she was sick (this happened a lot during my childhood) and went just to support her brother.

-Hey Kari. - Yep, my name is Hikari but my friends call me Kari.- Look, Ken is there!- Tells me Yolei Inoue exited out of her mind.

Don´t misunderstand me, I love my brother. I really do and I don´t mind that people knowing we are related. He is still the one that knows how to make me smile, even when no one else noticed that I´m sad. He is my strength. The problem? I don´t know when someone approaches me for being me or just because I´m her sister.

-Don´t look now, but I think he is looking for you.- I answer rapidly.

Even though "The titan", that´s the nickname they gave to my brother when they noticed his talents, just graduated from high school he makes some sporadic visits to his Kingdome. Most of these appearances are because he is picking me up. Anyways, he passed the throne of his team to Daisuke Motomiya, who is a good boy and a great player, just not my brother.

-I told you not to look! - I reproach.

Since his graduation, I haven´t seen many football games despite Daisuke´s constant requests. They aren´t as thrilling as they were to me in the past. Sometimes, I go only to oblige the heir of my brother's goggles.

Today isn´t one of those times.

-I´m sorry, - she starts in a way that tells me that she is not sorry at all,- but when someone says "don´t look", _normal_ people look.

I shake my head as in saying "no" and I smile due to her foolishness.

I´m watching a game, yes; but it´s not a football game. My friend Yolei is obsessed with one of the players and that´s why she drags me to every possible game she cans, which are more than I would like.

The whistle announces the end of the half time.

-It´s starting again!- squeals my friend crushing my arm´s bones.

-Go titans!- the cheer resounds.

Yeah, I know: my brother´s nickname is _so_ original (sarcasm, please notice it). What they say it´s that he is just not "one" but "The" titan. Boys. Who understands them?

-Give me one of those. – Tells me Yolei, because I´m sure she wasn´t asking, before she takes one of my chocolates and stuffed it in her mouth.

-Hey!

-What? – She asks innocently with chocolate all over her mouth.

-Don´t do that again.- I warn.

-Or what?- She challenges with a hand dangerously close to _my_ chocolate box.

-You wouldn´t.

-Do you really know me?

She takes a truffle.

-Oh, - I say putting down the box,- bad decision.

Then, I start tickling her.

I met her when my first day of high school. Apparently was her first to, even though she is a year older. She knew no one and for her I was "a girl that knew her way" or something like that. So she approached and started a conversation. She didn´t knew neither that Tai is my brother nor who he was, when she did, the high pitched screams that I´m used to didn´t come. She said "cool" and stumbled over the nice dark haired boy who helped her on her feet. Since that moment, Yolei Inoue was struck with Ken Ichijouji.

-Ok, ok, I give up. – She mumbles out of breath with her hands up in surrender.

-That´ll teach you not to mess with my chocolate.

-Ken has the ball!- She exclaims turning her attention back to the game.

I look, otherwise she´ll tear apart my poor little arm. Ken is dribbling the ball pass the other team´s players, but the 23 is approaching. The dark haired boy troughs the basketball, nonetheless, 23-guy makes the ball change its direction. Most of the crowd shouts "oh". Yolei disappointed falls back. However, I don´t lose hope.

-It´s not fair.

Something tells me this is not the end.

-Look. – I whisper.

From nowhere a blond guy appears and steals the basketball.

-I can´t believe it. – Says Yolei in awe forcing herself to stay in her seat.

\- Three.- Stats chanting the public.

The blonde looks for someone free. All are marked. He prepares himself for their last chance.

-He´s in the middle of the court, there is no chance.- Someone comments.

-Two.

The basketball flies like a bullet.

-One.- I whisper for only me to listen.

The whistle announces the end of the game.

Some fans celebrate, others boo, the players leave the court, the referee checks the points, some cheerleaders jump, the others throw angrily their pompoms and the mascots, to fight.

-What a rollercoaster of emotions.

-Yeah.

-You´ll come to the party?

I turn to see her with many questions in my eyes. For example: how did she know we would win?

\- Izumi said that she´ll throw a party. –Then she adds, making air quotes: - "It´s not about the result, but the effort."

-I can´t believe we lost.- A cheerleader complains.

-We were so close.- Continues the other.

-We have classes tomorrow.

-I know that you wanna.

-Actually- I start but something catches my eye and makes me stop.

-What?

\- My dearest Yoeli,- I whisper passing an arm around her shoulders.- How about congratulating you man?

-Where!?- She asks moving backwards and stumbling with the same guy she was looking for.

She falls down and he offers her his hand. She blushes and accepts.

-Why this has to be our hello?

She giggles nervously.

-What has to be your hello?

The three of us look at the new comer, the blonde with blue eyes.

-Congrats. – I say simply.

Startled, he puts his hand behind his head. Sometimes I get out of character.

-Well…I think I leave you in _good_ company.- I start seeing my chance to leave. – So, congrats and bye!

I run away blocking out Yolei´s screams.

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**A/N:** Thanks for reading :) This is the traduction of my fic "Máscaras". I will be posting a chapter the 7th of every month.


	2. Some party

**_I do not own digimon._**

* * *

**_Chapter 2_**

My cellphone´s screen brightens half of my dark room. I read.

**You´ll regreat it**

I´m not as antisocial as some people may think, I don´t run away from parties or any social gathering by instance. This was an exception.

The thing is that I _really _don´t like jocks and this party was going to be full- and by that I mean that out of 10 people attending 9 were probably jocks- of them. I kind of like watching all sports matches, from football to tennis. Really, I´ve got nothing against sports. What I despise is that most of the jocks are brainless or pretend to be. And to tell the truth I don´t know which one I detest more.

**Have double fun. For me**

Tai was never like that and it was obvious, that was the reason why he was so admired. Well, he is still admired. It´s just that few people remember this and think that just because they are part of a sports team they are royalty or something; that they can do whatever they want.

I sight, and then I let myself fall backwards on the bed to take a better look of the celling.

My phone vibrates which means that it´s received a message, it´s probably Yolei again.

**You aren´t at the party.**

I sit, with a furrow brow I realize that it´s not her.

**True**

After some seconds, it vibrates.

**I wasn´t planning it**

_AKA he did_.

**You change your mind**

I fall back on my bed.

**Cheerleaders**

I have to read the message about three times to get what he is trying to tell me. When, I get it, I laugh. He is the only one that can think of an answer like this.

**Something to share?**

Curiosity gets the best of me.

**Nothing you want to know**

_I will not like this at all._

**Spill**

I wait a couple of minutes until I receive his text.

**The golden couple is giving a show**

_Curiosity killed the cat._

**It´s just a façade**

_Confirm what I say._

**I don´t think so**

I cover my face with my right forearm, while my left hand holds my phone. I sight and write back.

**She does his homework and he gives her popularity. Nothing romantic**

The whole school knows that.

**From here it looks like a GOOD business**

I turn so I´m facing down. I chew my pillow and close my eyes to stop the tears.

**I´ll sleep. Have fun**

I was about to turn off my phone when his reply makes it vibrate.

**See ya**

I know you think that I´m melodramatic but let me tell you one thing: my high school's jocks are great- in what they play- but that's it. I can accept there are some exceptions, although I can count those with one hand.

I wake up as if I had gone to that stupid party. My head and stomach hurt; the rest of my body is numb. I have not the sightless idea of how I´m supposed to go to school under these conditions.

I go- like an automat- to the bathroom. My reflect shows how I feel: horrible. I decide I should take a shower, maybe it´ll wash away what´s wrong. After some minutes I come out of the shower without looking at the mirror- which it, anyways, steamed.

Luckily there is a new rule in high school: uniforms, so that save me the pain of thinking now of what to wear. After dressing, I put my hair up in a ponytail. When I am ready I check my reflection. _Something is missing_… I smile at myself, _good_.

My breakfast: a glass of juice and an apple. I´m the only one in the apartment so it´s completely quiet, my parents go to work early and Tai is in college. I do not really like this silence, so I hurry to get out.

Once on the streets I notice the sun shining up in the blue sky. Yeah, the weather and I are so in sync. I decide that whatever´s happening can wait and that it won´t stop me from proving to everybody that I´ll keep my head up no matter what. A smile will always accompany me.

-Good morning- says Catherine Deneuve.

I dedicate her a sweet smile.

-Good morning.

-Hey, goldilocks!- Someone calls.

I was about to continue my way when a girl says "nice show yesterday", followed by a shy laughter- which it wasn´t, you know, shy. However interested that conversation might be (_not_), I hurried to my locker.

-Hey Kari.

I take the books I need for my first period and pack them carefully so they won't damage my camera.

-Hey.

I am used to take it everywhere. It´s kind of a hobby (photography): it relaxes me and it´s fun. Some people had told me that I´m really good, that I should be a professional in that area.

-So much emotion.- Complains my companion.

But studying photography would take all the fun out of it and all "hobby" means. That is why my mayor won´t be on that area.

-I´m full of emotion!- I dramatize closing the locker.

Playfully I hit his arm, he passes a hand over the same spot, we exchange looks and laugh.

-Come on or we´ll be late.- I point out the general direction of our first class.

When we enter together I feel someone´s eyes on me. I know who that _someone_ is and that is why I won´t look back.

-Had fun?- I ask with a small smile as I sit in the chair next to his.

I admit it, I shouldn´t have asked. But here I am, totally unaware of the consequences that might stem from my words.

-A little.- He says stretching himself. I give him a look-the kind that says "bullshit". So the straighten himself.- Ok…- he moves his hands slowly- Yeah.- A pause.- It was awesome!- I simile at him.- You should have been there!

_Yeah, right._

-Maybe next time.

_Or the next, or after that, or never…_

-I promise you won´t regret it!- He almost shouts taking my hands in his.

The thing is that I have gotten used to his antiques, probably because they remind me a little of Tai. That´s the reason why I let him near me, otherwise I would probably evade him like I do with the other jock, although sometimes I regret that decision because I want to run far away. Now I just smile.

He never notices. He doesn´t have to.

Again those eyes. _Don´t look back Kari. Don´t you dare._

-Good morning class.

_Stop it!_

Daisuke releases me and lay back on his seat. Those same eyes stay on me for a moment longer, then, he releases me too. I sigh in relieve and pay attention to the teacher.

_Thank you._

Ok… maybe "pay attention" isn´t accurate or maybe I was wrong on the term "to the teacher". The truth is that the voices- no, they are not on my head- I meant my classmates' voices that won´t stop talking about yesterday´s party.

I wish I could erase some things from my mind.

Some people.

_I don´t want to know, stop. Please._

This is my torment.

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**A/N: Thank you for reading!**


	3. Meetings: some expected and some feared

**_**_I do not own digimon._**_**

* * *

**_Chapter 3_**

I observe my reflection; with my hands I move my face, do funny expressions and change my hairstyle.

-You know that you are not made of Play-Doh, right?- Says a mocking voice.

After three strides I´m in front of him, I want to hug him, but this illusion has happened before so I stay still. I smile pulling slightly my head back so I can look at him in the eye. He smiles too, his dimples make appearance.

-How´s my little sis? – He asks as a formality, we both know he can tell the answer.

Tai knows everything about me. Well, almost. There are some details big brothers shouldn´t know about their sisters. Trust me on this.

-I missed you.

His smile gets bigger. He moves closer and mess my hair up. I complain, but secretly enjoy the feeling of secureness that follows his actions.

-I know, I just too important to be forgotten. - He states with superiority.

I roll my eyes. Then, I try to smooth my messy hair while he smiles sideways. That smile is his fans´ favorite, the reason why they "love" him.

_I wished things were as easy for me as they are for you._

-You hungry?

No, actually. I´m nauseous. What I really want is stay in bed all day covered with sheets dressed in sweats even if outside is burning.

-Where are you taking me?

He poses as he pretend to think, but I already know that he has somewhere in his mind.

-I was thinking… there is a new place, near the park where we used to play when we were younger.

Memories of little kids running and laughing come to me. In my case, the past is not something I look with nostalgia. I´m better now.

-Do you remember?

Anyway, that is what I think.

-No,- I mumble, moving my head from side to side.

-Well,- he begins resting his arm over my shoulders and guiding me to the exit- it doesn´t matter. You have your personal guide- he continues pointing himself and winking.

I laugh until I remember a small detail.

A very important one.

-Umm… Tai…

-Trust me on this, you´ll love it.

I frown.

-Tai…

-For real! Some guys have told me about how good it is.

I growl almost quietly.

-Tai…- I try again.

-And the pastries! Let me tell you that with just hearing those names my stomach growls.

_Patience, please. _

-Tai!- I scream when his hand is on the door.

-What?

-I´m still in my pjs.

He looks at me; it seems it´s the first time since he came here today. He scans me from my oversized T-shirt- which used to be his, by the way,- to my cat slippers.

Tai was right. Most times I hate it, but he usually is. The café is breathtaking, the kind of vintage that takes you back in time. The smell, let me tell you that the mix of the scent of café and pastries just taken of the oven is heavenly. I turn in order to take in all the details, my brother puts an arm over my shoulder and guides me to a table for two.

\- Order whatever you want, I´ll pay.- He declares just when the waitress is in front of us.

She smiles and offers him the menu in a flirty way. Poor girl, she probably doesn´t imagine that he has a girlfriend which of whom he is very fond of. He will definitely won´t leave his lovely girl for a stranger. I roll my eyes. I just hope she doesn´t plan to stay too much around here, otherwise me and my brother won´t be able to talk properly.

I peek the list of pastries.

-Have you decided yet? I know I have.

Before I can even open my mouth, the flirty waitress is in front of us. She dashes us with another of her _charming_ smiles (please, notice my sarcasm). The girl takes out a pen and paper.

-So, what will you have?- she asks my brother.

Tai orders five different types of pastries and sandwiches, for a moment she looks at him as to check if he is serious or if he is just messing with her. I giggle, she is _so_ new to this. When she reluctantly turns to me, I order too. After we are finished, she plays a little with her hair, smiles and leaves.

I was about to talk when Tai shouts:

-Matt!?

Instantly, I turn to see, yeah, that was Matt, well, actually, Yamato Ishida. The guy is the same age as my brother, but he is blonde, of blue eyes and has a vibe of lone wolf. I guess you could say he is just as appealing to the female populations as my brother is. In his high school years he had his own fan club; it has grown since then, obviously, because he is part of a band.

My brother stands up and goes to meet his friend. The waitress, who was bringing our food, almost drop her tray: too much idols for her sanity. The poor girl was about to suffer a heart attack. I would have laugh if I wasn´t having a similar problem.

Behind Matt is someone, a blonde guy, just like his brother. The only detail that Tai doesn´t know completely. My body goes rigid, but my smile is still in my face. Lucky me. _Thank you, thank you, thank you_, I recite like a mantra because the mask is still working. I has to stay that way, there is no chance for me to scape this: the food is on the table and my brother has already invited Matt to sit with us, sadly, the other idol is a two for one deal.

-I seems like we had the same idea.- Says the older blonde, trying to break the ice.

I seriously doubt that the cold atmosphere would go away. I guess he could try.

-Tell me, TK- starts my brother sitting beside me, in front of his friend and leaving me with no choice but to endure the other one in front of me.- Does Matt still treat you like a child?

In order to be honest, I might admit that I not interested in this conversation at all. Many minutes pass while I concentrate in my delicious cake. I take in its flavor with all my senses.

-Kari…

It is so sweet that its taste trigger memories of two kids laughing. I don´t know how they are, I don´t want to discover it. It is a bittersweet trace the one that the memory leaves behind.

-Kari…

I wonder if it would seem very rude if I sand up, leave them to their chat and go take pictures of this café. They would look so perfect in my collection. Besides, I have taken out many pictures out of one of my albums, leaving plenty of space for new memories.

Although, I´m not sure if I want to remember this day.

-Hikari!

I reconnect with reality. A pair of brown eyes and another of blue ones stare at me, like almost all the people inside the place.

_Great Kari, way to go_.

-I´m sorry,- I apologize with the college guys and appreciate that the other one is paying more attention to his phone than to anything else right now- this is so delicious I can´t concentrate in anything other than it.

I don´t want them to know I spaced out on purpose. It would be me breaking character, and that I couldn´t do, not in front of so many people.

-I knew you would love it.

We both smile.

-I know, I know- I say as a matter of fact:- you are the best brother in the whole world.

-Damn right- he sentences with delusions of grandeur.

Matt laughs at him and his brother looks at him a fraction of a second, then he returns his attention to his mobile. I feel satisfied, he is so absorbed in himself like I was a moment ago, that shows that I´m not the only one uncomfortable with this unexpected meeting. My lips form a playful smirk.

I want to smash his phone, I know who is texting him, I just do. The thought might have passed through my eyes, because his blue ones know I´m up to something. He puts it aside. I sit up straighter.

Meanwhile, our brothers have been updating each other.

-… and the next moth we will be playing in a bar, in this area.

-Really? That´s great! Remember me that and I´ll go.

-Can I tag along?

Three pair of eyes stared at me. The brown ones tell me that there is no way I will go to a bar. The blue ones are very surprised by my comment, so not see it coming. The other ones… well I didn´t stop too much on them, but I saw a little "you finally lost it" look on them. _Men! They make such a drama of these things_.

I pretend I don´t really care by shrugging. I feel a blush trying to creep up to my cheeks, they still watching me closely without saying a word. I put a strand of my hair behind my ear and entertain myself with the cold drink I have in front of me (that should calm me).

-So, Kari… is there some guy in your life?- Matt asks in a tone like he is conspiring.

Ok, now I definitely can´t control the blush. He had to use those words. He had to ask! I feel like a tomato.

-No- Tai says as to close the topic.

My eyes wonder all over the café trying not to cross with the ones of the guys in the same table as me.

-Come on Tai, Kari has grown and that looks good on her.

That doesn´t make me feel better. Not at all.

Whatever my brother was about to tell him was interrupted by a strong laugh. I know perfectly that melody, but then again, it is not welcome.

-I am sorry- _you are not sincere_\- it´s just that- _don´t try to make it better_\- the situation- _it won´t work_\- is hilarious.

-May we know why?- I ask smoothly, with no intentions whatsoever to let them know my irritation.

-Well,- he starts with a hand gesture- we all know that, even if you manage to get someone…- he pretends to look out for a word:- interested guy, no one will get close enough to you.

-My sister is perfectly fine.

At least someone thinks so.

-Thant not what I was referring to- he continues showing his palms as a "sincerity" gesture, _ha righ_t.- I was just saying that she is… intimidating.

Matt laughs, Tai looks at him not believing what he just heard, I dare to look at him and smile knowingly. We both can figure out who has the support of the older ones in this discussion and it isn´t him.

_I was expecting more form you, I kind of disappointed._

\- Intimidating? Kari? Are we really talking about the same girl?

His brother stares back at him but doesn´t respond.

-Come on Matt- Tai says with a serious tone- she is intimidating,- Matt almost loose it- just as intimidating as a bunny- my brother finishes with a laugh which is seconded by his friend.

_This is my territory, I won´t lose. You should know by now_.

The older ones are trying to catch their breaths when a phone rings. All of us check if it is ours.

-Mine.

He stands up and goes away. His brother follows him with his eyes. After some more minutes I decide it is enough.

-Tai, if you don´t mind, I should get going.- I say taking my purse.

-So soon?- He complains.

-We have been here about three hours.- I smile.- Besides, if the waitress hadn´t found you guys good-looking, I´m sure she would have kicked us out long ago.

-You are right, your brother is smoking hot.

-Yeah, Tai, whatever you say.- Tells him the blonde.

-Bye guys.

The door opens.

-Cath…- utters a tired voice- why would you say that?- he makes a pause.- Yeah…see you.- He finishes without much energy.

I try not to encounter him again. Nonetheless, things never go my way: a couple stands in front of me, which makes me move to get out of the café and that leaves me in front of the boy I was trying to avoid. He looks at me in a weird way while his knuckles turn white because his hand is holding too tight his cellphone.

-You are leaving.- He says, not an ounce of surprise in his voice.

-"I have to"- I poorly imitate a memory.

He squints. I cross the door without waiting for a reply.

_Finally free_.

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**A/N:** Thanks for reading :)

I am very very sorry for the long wait, exams and so much to read for university. I´ll try to post more chapters soon, but I have work to do, so please be paitient. Have happy holidays :)


	4. Between the past and the wall

**_I do not own digimon._**

* * *

**_Chapter 4_**

-Well done girls! This is it, for today.

I´m in the dance club. This means that I stay after classes almost every day, I love it. Also is the reason why I know how jocks are really like, since they stay until the same hour as us.

-Dancing is so relaxing.- Says a classmate while she stretches herself.

Some of us got in due to our love to dance. It relaxes you and strengths your muscles. Every girl should try it some time.

-I totally agree.- I say smiling at her and taking my bag.

Well, that is what I think.

-Yeah, whatever.- Says a redhead taking out the importance of our words with a hand gesture. Then, she realizes that something, or to be fair, someone is coming.- BOYS!

Sometimes I think I´m too naïve. Most girls sing up just to stay late for them, to talk to them, and for them to see their bodies stretched in shorts. Almost all the class, like lighting, take their things and go to meet the boys. Personally, I don´t see the bright side of "batting my eyelashes" to a sweaty and stinky boy.

Not for me.

I should get home early, there is homework unfinished is on my desk, which is why I start walking the other way. The bouncing of a basketball stops my tracks. I observe the ball while it passes me. From the other part of the gym, some jocks laugh. I don´t mind them, _just keep going_.

-¡Oye, Kariiiño! ¡Pásala!- Shouts one of them in Spanish, the others laugh out loud.

-You sound like Speedy Gonzales!

If you want them, go and get it.

-Hey, don´t be like that, come with us!- Shouts another one, then he continues:- And bring the ball with you!- Again the laughs.

_There is no way I will do as you say. You have legs and hands, go and get it yourselves._

I keep walking, not once I stop, not a single second. Once I´m in the hallway where the changing rooms are, someone pushes me against the wall. Not too hard, but still, he pushes me.

-Get off of me.

There is no one apart from us. _This is the only way you will come as you really are, right?_

-I´m really tired of this, it´s been too long. What is your problem?

No one can get me out of there. I don´t need to be saved.

-What is _your_ problem?- I counterattack.

His blue eyes shine with fury while he takes me by the shoulders.

-Why can´t you behave like a decent person? Just give us the ball, it is not much.- I turn my face away from his stare.- Or are you going to ignore the inanimate object too?- He asks with challenge in his tone.

I return his gaze lifting my chin, demonstrating him that he does not intimidates me. Who do he think he is claiming those things?

-I can´t? I!- I mock, he is not amused.

I laugh without happiness. He pushes me farther against the wall.

-If you were kinder maybe you would have more friends,- for some seconds, there is silence. His tone drops:- you would still be friend of some people.

-If I wanted to be friends with airheads,- I refute looking into his eyes- I would pay attention to your specie. Anyway, there are lots of options.

-You´ve formed an stereotype, it is far away from the truth.- Yeah, right.- Not all of us are like that.- His face comes closer to my face. I can see all the tones of blue in his eyes.- _I _am not like that.

-Get off of me.

-I´ve never was.- He murmurs.

I just raise an eyebrow.

-I´ll prove you wrong.- He decides.

_Sure, like you did the other time. You are good doing that._

I don´t reply. He takes a step back, then turns around and start walking like this "encounter" never happened. Out of the blue, he spun around and adds:

-Princess- he bows his head and leaves me.

I beat my tongue.

I stay in the same spot until he is out of sight, when that happens; I lay on the wall and let myself fall. Once on the floor, I sit in fetal position trying to contain the tears that threaten to fall out. _I won´t cry, this is stupid; definitely I won´t cry because of_ him. _It doesn´t affect me. It doesn´t affect me. He doesn´t affect me_.

One word stays in my mind: princess. Also, I can still see the change in his eyes.

I sight heavily.

Those memories are not good for me. I have been avoiding them from a long time now, but it was never easy. Like today.

* * *

The next day, I go to school with a big smile plastered on my face. _Yesterday nothing bad happened_. Not an important bad thing. Not a relevant thing to tell someone. For everyone else I am who I always was, the little and sweet Kari.

It is a good scape, the perfect façade. The most brilliant mask: what everyone expect, what they have always seen.

Let´s see, what was I supposed to do? I make a mental note of all my "to-do list" while I try not to crash into some unknown student. The blonde one crosses my way and he has the nerve to smirk. I almost leave behind my perfectly structured character and tell him lots of things I wanted to say from a long time now. _Almost_. Immediately, my eyes change of focus, my smile is still on my lips, my feet keep on moving and my heart is still beating. I won´t waver nor I will expose my charade, not in front of this people.

-Hey, Kari!

I stop harshly, which made the guy behind me nearly crash into me, it was just good luck that he didn´t because he was fast enough to move aside. I smile ashamed, he acknowledges my unspoken apology with a nod and leaves. I wait for the one who had call my name to come. When he does, he is catching his breath, I guess he was running.

-Hi- he says.

I bit my lower lip. There was a time when I thought that this boy was the one who could make me smile for real again.

-Hi- my voice is barely heard.

His lips curve upwards, he put in place his backpack, straightens himself and starts walking. I am watching him leave when he turns and mouths "let´s go". I catch up with him quickly and we continue our way to class. He stretches his arms upwards with a funny face, then he looks at me sideways.

-I´ve heard that our teacher will have us do a pair work.- I wait for him to make the question I´m sure he will ask.- Would you mind being my partner in this?- I smile sweetly up at him and give him a thumb up, I don´t mind at all, it saves me the time I would be searching for someone to work with.

I am aware of my mistake. I will not wait for someone to cure my wounds nor to make me smile again. I can do it myself. I won´t depend on someone else, no more; but, meanwhile, I have no reasons to worry the ones who are closer to me.

-Just, please, take this seriously.- I warn him.

The problem with Daisuke is that he takes almost everything as a joke. Once I was told that he befriended me because there was a rumor that no other jock could, just because of a bet. I wouldn´t believe it, but I kind of prefer this thought than knowing he talks to me because I am Tai´s sister. Besides, the important thing is that putting aside all said and thought, he had stay near me without asking much in return.

-Are you doubting of me, your most loyal server?- He asks with fake hurt in his face.

I roll my eyes and sit in my usual place. He does the same in the chair right next to mine.

-I just hope this will be a simple work.- He whispers putting an arm in the back of my chair so that he can come nearer to me.

I try not to let show how rigid I am by moving around the things I put on my desk. It is not only the closeness of the boy beside me that makes me uncomfortable, it is the eyes I feel are on me the worst part.

_Why does it keeps happening? It is supposed to have stopped by now._

-I prefer a bigger job.- I confess. What I don´t mention is that my predilection is due to the good distraction it would be.

He looks at me as if I am the strangest person on earth. I smile ironically, well, I´m surely close enough, but no too much people care enough to notice. The eyes are still on me. _Fine, almost anyone has notice_.

-Good mornig.

Daisuke sits properly and I relax, both guys have freed me. I can breathe again. The lecture continues normally until the last ten minutes, when the sensei takes a look of his wristwatch.

-You´ve probably heard from your other classmates that I will assign a pair work.- Many cross looks and give each others thumps ups.- Neverthess,- ok… I don´t think this is good, at all.- I will choose your partners.- It does not take much time for the disagreeing voices to raise, Sensei crosses his arms and suddenly the class is dead silent.- I will do it, that´s it.

-I am really sorry.- Mutters the messy haired boy.

Poor guy, it seems like he means it.

-Don´t worry, we can work together some other time.- I comfort him putting a hand on his right arm, totally out of character (the touching, I mean). Sometimes I amaze myself.

He smiles down at me and I, up at him. I wonder if a studious classmate would be my spartner. I try to push aside the thought of being stuck with the one I want less. There is something inside of me that tells me that is the thought that will come true.

-Takeru Takaishi and Hikari Yagami.

The heir of the googles looks at me, worried. I wonder what have I done wrong to deserve this torture. Now I certainly take back what I hope for this project: I hope it will be simple and quick. Just like taking off a Band-Aid, fast and painless.

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you enjoy it and that I can make up some time to finish the other chapters fast.

Happy Holidays!


	5. Don't treat him differently

**_I do not own digimon._**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

The week after we were assigned to do a project in pairs I am still trying to avoid the blonde boy. However, my wishes almost never come true: he is everywhere and there is no much I can do about it. It doesn´t matter that I want really badly to escape from him, he finds me. This last thing, I learned from the hard way.

Dancing is, usually, what relaxes me; nonetheless all the stress I´ve accumulate is so much that I want to scream with all my might. So, when I see the cause of my headaches, I take my things with me and get out as my life depended on it, even though I haven´t change my dance-clothes. Once out, I realize rain is falling. I stand, a little defeated, watching the drops as they go down. At least the sound they make calms me. I wouldn´t mind so much to walk with this weather, but I don´t think it is reasonable.

-You´ve always liked watching the rain as it falls.

Yeah… remember what I say about calming me, forget it.

-You are going to keep on ignoring me?

_Yes, if it is possible for ever._ I was doing a good job until the pairs project. Just my luck. I don´t want to have you near neither having you remembering things about me. Don´t do it, you don´t have the right to.

-You know, we have to do the project. I won´t do it on my own.

I sight heavily. I don´t want to accept it, but he is right. Work is work, plus I can´t let my emotions take the wheel. I spin around and the words I was going to say get stuck in my throat. He is too close. My first impulse is to run away as fast as I can, but my will is srong enough to repress it.

-Is it good in my house, tomorrow after classes?- He asks taking a step back.

In his house? I suffer a little panic attack. He lives with his mother, but she is hardly at home, which means that is more probable for us to be alone there. I concentrate in my respiration. _Inhale and exhale, Kari, inhale and exhale_.

-It would be better to do it in the library.- I try to sound sure of myself.

I see doubt in his eyes and I know he wants to ask something, but he regrets it and doesn´t. Better for me.

-Ok.

For me, the conversation is over, so I turn around once more to watch the rain and to wait for him to leave. _When I was younger, I watched it through my window, so beautiful, so distant_…

-If you keep ignoring me,- says a voice at my back, my muscles tense involuntarily- you will see me more often. No delay the inevitable.

After he said that, he goes in the gym again. I know because I hear his steps get away. I stay a while longer just to be sure.

_When I was younger, I watched it through my window, so beautiful, so distant. I did, until the day you took me outside. Do you remember? I do, I can´t forget, even if I want to._

* * *

-Bingo!- Shouts my friend.- My favorite!

I am sitting under a tree with Yolei, it is recess time.

-They say that "the Teenage Wolves" are going to play in a local bar, here in Odaiba.- She says excitedly.- I didn´t know that Matt had come back to town.

I don´t need to say out loud that I have been evading the guy regardless of his "warnings". I have try, in vain, avoiding him. He apears indirectly in my conversations! This is enough.

-The other day we saw him in a café.- I tell her with a small smile.

I don´t tell her about the part where his brother comes into the picture.

-We!? With whom you went?

I denied with my head. I don´t doubt that, right now, she is creating in her mind an incredible love story of two lovers who hid their love. So, before this gets out of control, I decide to cut her illusions now telling her the truth:

-I went with Tai.

Her eyes loose that sparkle of emotion when she mourns her new love story with a "aw", but it does not last long, in a matter of seconds a funny expression appears in her face.

-I bet that the other clients were in shock after seen them together.

I laugh at the memory of the flirty waitress´ face.

-If you have only been there…

Out of the blue, all my laughter dies at the sight of what is almost in front of me, and let me tell you it wasn't Yolei. Kari, stop looking. It is not your business. Look the other way. Now!

-I don't think they put that nauseous expression.

I change of focus rapidly. However, because of my luck, she realizes what make me stare seconds before. I eat my food as there is no tomorrow.

-Ew,- she complains- do they have to go around school giving this kind of spectacles all the time? It seems like she is going to eat his face. So gross!

I clean myself with a napkin, put the food aside and look at the sky.

-Hey, is it me or I am seen them more than usual?

I almost growl. I close my eyes without moving my head upright again. She did realize, I was hoping she didn't. The thing is bothering the most of her question is the word "them". Let's keep it real, he is the stalker (there is no other word), not the blonde girl.

-Kari!

I open one eye. The disgust in the face of the girl sited near me is so obvious it is the same as if she had taken out a neon lighted sign that says "get the hell out". As usual, the spiky haired boy doesn't take the hint and sits on my other side.

-Do they have to be always so public?- He complains.

He is, or used to be, very reserved, which is why I am very confused, since I am almost sure that if it was for him, he wouldn't lend himself for this type of public demonstrations. She is a complete different story. Blonde and French, it is so cliché that for a minute I wonder if she is real at all. Between her charisma and aspect (although I doubt that is the real color of her hair and her real character) she had the entire high school population in her pocket one week after her arrival.

-They can't keep it to themselves.

The sound of Yolei´s ringing phone interrupts me from eliminating the images I've just seen. I observe how she packs her things in an incredible speed and I realize that Daisuke has been watching me, weird, I haven't felt him do that. She stands.

-I have to go.- Says my friend righting her red backback strips on her shoulders.

I've never seen her this worked up, except one time… I lift my eyebrows as a question. The spiky haired boy says "cool", then he lays on top of the grass with his hands supporting his head. She rolls her eyes and smirks. I wonder if she is in her right mind and hope that she knows what she is doing.

-They are everywhere.- Indicates the heir of the goggles with a finger the general direction where the pair of blondes is, after the girl of the glasses is gone.

If _he_ has taken a hint, it means that the other one is extremely obvious. It frustrates me. He snicker at my reaction.

-If you keep ignoring him, you will see him more.

If looks could kill, he would be six feet under. He puts his hands up in surrender.

-It is just an observation.

Since when he notice so much something that has nothing to do with him? He shrug as an answer to my non spoken question.

-What do you mean?- I ask tiredly, biting the bait.

He sits crossing his legs Indian style, his back very straight and looks me in the eye. I look back at him.

-Don't run away,- I look at him as if he had finally lost it- don't treat him differently.

But I don't want to be near him and he does not deserve to be treated as a normal person. Although … maybe… _don't treat him differently_. That way he will think he doesn't matter to me…

-You are a genius!

* * *

This is it. This is the time we established to meet. Nothing. I am in the school's library siting, waiting. I am here for a long time now. _If he is not here in two minutes, I'll go_. I had taken the advice of the spiky haired boy, I calculated well time so I could be here on schedule. On the other hand, it seems I won't get any help anytime soon.

I play with my fingers on the wooden table. Some students look up at the noise and send me nasty looks. I stop immediately. _He is not coming_. I take my bag and was about to get out when something catches my eye. I am getting out of here, just after I satisfy my curiosity by going into the "science fiction" section. W hen I was younger, Tai told us marvelous histories (I still haven't figure out where he took out them). Something inside me pushes me forward, towards the titles of the books of the section, so I follow my instinct.

I walk slowly in between the two wooden bookcases. I encounter in front of me the character that had accompanied me a lot during my childhood: the boy whose eyes lighted up like a child on Christmas morning looking at his presents, the difference was that his eyes shone when he had a fascinating book in his hands. I don't want to break the illusion I'm seen, this is the reason why I stand still mute, just watching.

I should had got of there when I had the chance, I think to myself when I liberate the prisoner from my gaze from. Those same eyes again. I find them gazing at me before he looks back to his book. He seems embarrassed as if that was a private moment and I interrupted rudely. _Well, life isn't fair. I learned that, it is time you have its share too_. He closes the book, which title I recognize easily since it is the same story I ask for Tai to read over and over again, and he puts it back carefully.

-I was waiting for you.

Immediately, I regret my chose of words. He looks at me with those blue eyes of his in a way I don't know what to make of it. Or don't want to know the real meaning.

I turn around and lead the way. We walk in silence to the table I was at minutes before and when we are there, we sit in front of one another. In an unspoken agreement, each of us gets a book and starts the part of the project we assigned. That is how time flew by: with no words between us. However, the spell could not last forever.

-So, here you are.

_Great, we are now complete, let's begin the love fest_. Now, for real, I firmly believe that Tai got all the luck leaving me with nothing.

-I told you I was going to do homework.- He responds very calmly.

She brushes her long blonde curls with her hand while she looks at him under her long eyelashes. I want to roll my eyes, but I don't. I don't want to be _that_ obvious.

-You didn't say where.- She points out with a exaggerate pout.

I hope they don't go all "honey-buu" right in front of me. If they do, I swear I'll throw up on them or throw them a book to their faces. But, maybe, getting out of there will be the most sensible option. I don't want to be a witness of _that_.

-I didn't thought it was necessary.

Oh, don´t. Don't start your silly almost-perfect-boyfriend/girlfriend fight. It is so cliché. _Are you for real, you can't figure something more innovative? We don't want to hear you_. She looks at him with pretended lovely-light-anger. He looks at her bored. Students look at them, waiting for something to happen. I put inside my bag my things as quietly as I can.

-What are you doing?- He asks me.

What does it looks like?

-I'm leaving, is clear we are not going to do much.- She smiles at him, but the other blonde doesn't take his gaze away from me.- We will continue another day.

* * *

**_A/N: thanks for reading!_**


	6. Trapped outside

**_I do not own digimon._**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

-Hikari, can you do me a favor?- asks me a girl in the bathroom, looking me through the mirror.

-What is it about?- I wonder while I wash my hands.

I used to try to make everyone happy, but now I have realized that no one can be happy all the time and that not because someone is smiling that person is happy. I guess people have gotten used to the idea of me helping everyone all the time, which I don´t really mind. _It is easier to solve problems when they are not your own and being of use is a good feeling_.

-You see,- she starts to explain at the same time she is playing with her skirt nervously- I´ve overheard my brother bragging about making fun of some boy.

I know I won´t like what is next. His brother is the captain of the ruby team and likes to play rough on boys that are not as strong or fast as he is.

-But I don´t know who is going to be their victim,- she continues looking at the floor- just that the boy will be in the rooftop and it is not going to be nice.- She pauses.- I am sorry, I didn´t know who could help.- She says with a pleading look in her eyes.

-Don´t worry.

-If my brother finds out…- she shakes her head- I´ll distract him and you can get the boy out of there.

_Today is different from every other day, I can´t tell what exactly is out of place._

I run upstairs. There is no one, but I can hear voices, that and the creepy shadows give me Goosebumps. When I finally get there, I can´t see a single soul, reason why I step forward until I am in the middle of the place.

I look for the boy, the would-be-victim. I finally know who he is. He is sitting on the floor, his back pressed to the wire, writing on his notebook. I didn´t know he still had that habit. Well, it is not like I had to (or could) know every detail about him.

The door makes a big noise as it closes. His gaze lifts.

-You shouldn´t let it do that.-He say in a sight, like resigned.

I cross my arms. My pose is defensive.

-It is not like it won´t open again.- He just looks at me. My arms fall at my sides and grieved, I close my eyes.- It can´t be open from here.- I open them again, his blue ones stay on me.- Right?- I seek for confirmation.

-Hmm- he pucker his lips,- no.

Right after he finishes saying this, he returns his attention to his little black book. I stay by the door, without knowing what to do next. Was it part of the joke me being trapped here? No, even if they share DNA, Megumi wouldn´t be capable of doing that, at least not consciously and voluntarily.

I come closer to the border of the place, which is surrounded by a metallic wire (this is good, because if it wasn´t I don´t doubt that I would try to through myself off of here just to get away). I can see the rugby team from here. They are all there and they are all laughing. Perhaps this was a trap. Maybe they thought we would kill each other.

-Be careful with the wire.- Says a monotone voice from its seat.

I haven't realized that my fingers were gripping tightly the wire. However, my fingers were the ones who suffered the most; they are all read while the wire is intact. I open and close my fingers as I walk in circles.

-You are giving me a headache.-He tells me after some time.- Stop,- He continues tiredly, then, he adds:- please.

I stop for a minute or so trying to find a solution, but nothing comes to me. This is supposed to be a place where no student should be, therefore, if I scream for help wouldn't be so good for me. Besides, even if I did it, the first ones to listen probably would be those bastards. I keep on walking in circles, making up a revenge plan against them.

I hear a noise. This makes me turn. It is a disappointment when I realize it was just the blonde boy closing his little book. The weird thing is that he has stand up and comes closer to me until he is right in front of me.

-Come.- He commands with deep voice, putting his big hands on my shoulders.

-Don't touch me.-I resist him crossing my arms.

He lets his fall to his sides and sights.

-Just chill, someone will come up and open that door. We will be free soon enough.

He looks me directly in the eye; his blue ones are luring me and offering me serenity. I know well that behind those blue orbs there isn't that much serenity as they want me to believe. Nonetheless, I let him think he has won this round. I nod.

-Ok.-He says in the matter of someone satisfied with the outcome.

He turns and sits down where he was; once there, he points with his head the place at his side. This situation is very familiar to me, the difference are the scenery and the time. I pinch myself without him knowing (I hope) to come back to the here and now: it is not the time for flashbacks. I sit beside him. Of course, I leave a prudent space between us.

Up until now he has behave decently so I should do the same. _Don't run away, don't treat him differently_. His mask is for me or for everyone else?

-At least the sun is shining today,- he offers looking up to the sky- it is good there is no rain or too much wind.

His knees are flexed and his arms are loosely on his knees.

-Yeah…

He sighs heavily and closes his eyes.

-The sun is a nice partner,- he says as if he was talking to himself- it warms you up, comforts and illuminate.

_When you write, your poet chip stays on, right?_

-I prefer autumn.

He laughs shortly, it is as if he doesn't believe me.

-I prefer spring.- He pauses, still looking up,- all reborn.

_Not everything. Or perhaps it does, but in a different way. Maybe what dies in autumn is replaced what borns in spring. It is not the same, it is all different._

_We are different._

-Have you ever been in love?- He blurts out of the blue.

I look to the front. _In love? Are you asking if I ever liked someone? Not just his fisic, but his personality? If I once wanted to be by someone´s side all day because being apart was almost hurtful to me? If I kept talking to him just to hear his voice? If every moment we spent together was a treasured memory?_

_No. No more._

-No.- I slowly say.

I can feel his gaze on me, but I refuse to succumb.

-But you had a boyfriend.- He recriminates me.

Yeah, I guess that happened.

-Not everything that shines is gold.

-I guess you wouldn't get it, even if I told you.- He whispers to himself, I barely hear him. Probably, it wasn't meant to be heard.

Was I wrong? The golden couple is really fond of each other?

No, I really doubt that.

-I´ll guess,- I say looking at the clouds- the girl you like does not feel the same way about you.

Perhaps he does like her, but she definitely wants him for his popularity. I´ve heard that she will run for prom queen, if she is with one of the most popular guys of the school (come on, they _are_ the golden couple) she has already the crown.

-For someone who has never liked someone like that, you are very insightful.

-Maybe, I have. Long ago.

A joyless laugh escapes from me.

I hear a shout that says "bingo!" and immediately, I recognize the voice. Enough of small talk. I stand up as fast as I can before he has the chance to continue talking. Yolei is resting her back against a tree, Ken is in front of her, between them there is only half and arm of distance (his arm). There is no one else in sight. Don't interrupt.

-You shouldn't interrupt.- He echoes my thoughts.

The blonde boy is standing by my side. The distance between us is back and I am not only talking about physical distance. I can feel it in the air.

-It is our best chance to get out of here. If we wait for…whatever is happening finishes, they'll be gone. Besides, I am not peeping to know when they… are finish.- I cross my arms.- No way.

He stares at me weirdly.

-What?- I ask a little annoyed.

-Nothing, it is just that that was the longest thing you have said to me for a long time.

I roll my eyes and look the other way. Yolei and Ken separate from each other.

-I think that their "moment" has passed.- I nod, then, he shout the name of his friend.

The ones on the ground look up to us.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you are ****enjoying ****this story.**


	7. Between bookshelves

_I do not own Digimon._

* * *

**Chapter 7**

The next day, I come running to school. I couldn't sleep due to the nightmares that woke me up through the night.

-You look awful.

-Thanks, that is what every girl wants to hear. Remind me to come to you when I'm not feeling well.

He laughs. I am too tired to even glare at him.

-I'm sorry,- he says as he puts on a serious face, he straightens up and continue:- you are the ray of light that brightens my morning.

He finishes with a reverence and looks at me from that position. My eyebrows shoot up, my eyes get bigger, I shake my head, and then, I giggle.

-Come on, sensei shouldn't be far.- I say while I pull him from his shirt.

* * *

A little after the last bell rang I slowly go out from school.

-They are so cute together.- Comments a girl, stringing the syllables so that it seems that she has said more words that she actually have.

What is she talking about?

-He is tall and perfect; she is sweet and popular.- Says her friend. Then, she continues with a pout:- I want something like that.

You are kidding right? The boy has two big fat dark circles under his eyes, and he walks as if his feet have the weight of a trunk. Definitely "tall and perfect" are not the words I would use to describe him. She is attached to his arm as if she were a koala hugging a tree (it can be seen from afar how his biceps are turning purple due to the pressure). Besides, the smile on her face is totally fake, it is just for everyone to see, but she doesn't believe it. Trust me I know about this things.

Our eyes meet for a second before he looks elsewhere. The blonde subtlety gets rid of his companion´s gasp, to what she responds with a disgusted look-which is rapidly covered when she brushes her long curls out of her face with both hands. Usually, they walk around showing how happy and mushy they are. Sometimes, I think that they do that because it makes them somehow happy, but it is really awkward for some of us.

_They are probably hiding something_. The last few days they have been really weird around each other. Perhaps I am imagining things, because I am the only one that has taken notice of this. Not that I am keeping track of their relationship or something like that. I am not interested in what their relationship is going through. _Of course I am not_.

_Right?_

-Hikari!- Calls me one of my classmates from the club.- Hina-sensei is sick, which is why we won't be practicing today. They haven't found a replacement and we really don't want that.

-Is it bad?- I ask worried.

-No,- she calms me- it is just flue. She is resting today and that should make it go away more quickly. Well, I must go.- She finishes with a big hand gesture and a:- Bye!

It is not fair, I seriously was waiting this moment to dance and relax a little. Yolei told me that she would be in her neighbor flat fixing his computer, which leaves me with no one to be with. I sight. _Now, I have no other choice than going home early. I will be alone in that apartment_. I shiver a little.

-I don't have soccer practice today.- Says the boy with spiky hair appearing out of the blue and putting onne arm around my shoulders. I haven't heard him come. I try to relax under his arm, but is not that simple.- We can do something, if you want.

That is an option.

-We should get to work.- Interrupts the blonde, who comes to us leaving his girlfriend behind.

I look downcast at the heir of my brother´s googles. He smiles with resignation.

-Just knowing that you prefer me is enough.- He whispers so that the other boy can´t hear him and then he ads just as low:- for now.

I don't know how to respond to that so I simply don't say a thing. Without another word, he goes. The blonde girl smiles at me, she approaches to the blonde boy to –apparently- tell him something and then, she is gone too. The poor girl is passing a bad time, after all, the golden couple only works if they actually look like a couple. Whatever its they relationship or agreement, it seems as if he doesn't want to be a part of it anymore.

Anyway, we walk to the library as two strangers going the same way. Sadly it is a long way and the weather is too hot. My hair is not helping much, I shouldn't listen to Yolei and let it grow, it bothers me a lot having it under my shoulders. Maby one day I will cut it again.

Once there, in silence, we make ours a table far away from everything. There are not much people here, nonetheless, I don't fancy being near the five people (without counting the librarian) that are here. I don't want to bother them. So, as last time, we divide our work and we do our parts quietly. That is how many minutes pass through, each one of us doing their own thing.

-We are done.

I look at him as if he has gone mad. We are not even close to being done, we are just beginning. He shakes his head.

-Catherine and I.

Ok, what do you want me to say? I'm I supposed to be empathic, compassionate or something like that? I stare right back into his blue eyes as my only response. Apparently, h takes that as an invitation to elaborate his previous commentary.

That happens when you have a care-taker reputation.

-I guess… I think that I was with her because everyone expect me to be.- He says looking deeply into his paper in the way of someone who doesn't want to talk but either way does, because they feel like they _have_ to.- I don't want to be a puppet. That is why I broke up with her.

Huh, that was the reason why they were so weird lately. However, if this is true, then why are they still attached to the hip? I mean, if they had officially broke up everyone, i.e. every student of our school, would be talking about the separation of the golden couple.

-Why are you telling me this?-His stare burns. _I think I was a little harsh_. I correct myself:- Don't be offended, but you don't own me any explanation.

I maintain my poker face. I didn't need to know that and it seems out of character of him to tell me. I mean, it is not like we are not friends or something.

-I just…- he says as his sapphire gaze tries to penetrate me.

_You won´t do it._

-I need this one.- I change the topic pointing the suggested bibliography and standing up rapidly.

I go looking for the book I said I needed. It is a good way to escape from him, at least for a while. _It is a good thing that there is no one in between the bookcases_. I raise a hand, caress the books trying to find the title I'm looking for. Nothing. Where is it? When I turn around to continue my search I find an intense pair of blue orbs.

"What are you doing here?", I want to ask, but his left hand is on my mouth and his right one is going to the back of my neck. I frown a little. His lips part from each other, but he doesn't say a word. Then, he play with my hair and his lips meet again. _What is happening?_ With no warning, he takes back the hand that was covering my mouth. With this same hand, he caresses my cheek with a featherlike touch. All of this, he does without taking his eyes away from my own. _What is happening?_ Even now that I can freely be heard, no words come out of me. He is coming closer, very slowly. I'm petrified. _What is happening?_

The tact is so soft, so soft and so ephemeral that my eyes close involuntarily. When I open them, I find his gaze, a very hard to decipher gaze. My brain disconnects the moment I feel his hot breath against my skin. This time, I am the one who initiates the contact.

My hands, alone, pull him into me by the neck of his uniform´s shirt. A little after, his hands take mines by the wrists and put them around his neck, where is more confortable to get to his blond hair. His left hand comes down until it is on my waist and then, he pulls me more into him. During all this, our lips fight for control.

I don't really know how much it lasted or if someone saw us, the only thing I know for sure is that we just parted from each other due to lack of air. His forehead is against mine; his left hand, on my waist; his right one, brushing some locks of my hair; mine, descending from his hair to his shoulders and our breaths wavering. I open my eyes and see that his are still closed. _This is not happening._

-That…

-… never happened.- I complete his phrase getting quickly away from him.

His hands drop as if they were made of rag, his eyes want to tell me something, but I can't quite figure it out. I turn around before I do.

-I'll go ask the librarian lady about the book.- I inform him, still turned.- You can look for it in the other bookcase.

_This never happened._

* * *

**A/N: If you have any comment, Ill be happy to know.**


	8. All roads lead to the past

_I do not own digimon nor its characters.  
_

* * *

**Chapter 8: All roads lead to the past**

_Ok… I was definitely not expecting this._

I am standing in front of a house; well, it is actually a _mansion_, where "THE party" is, in Yolei´s words. The first time she told me about it, I didn't pay much attention, however, since what _didn't_ happen yesterday, I need a major distraction. _I am not in denial, nothing happened_. NOTHING. My friend send me a text asking if I would come and when I confirmed that yes, I would, she called me immediately to tell me that she will be in charge of choosing me an outfit and makeup.

Yolei showed up at my house´s door with a huge equipment, apparently it contained all things that were necessaries to "make us shine". This is what freaked me out a little, since I am not the one to show herself, it is not my style at all. Besides, Tai would kill me if he found out that his little sister is dressed as a… well you know. On the bright side, even if I was force to use a dress, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. The dress was white; it hugged my body up to my waist where a pink belt was and the skirt reached few centimeters above my knees. She did my makeup, which had a very natural look.

-I think you should paint your nails another color.- She commands.

I look doubtfully the black nail polish.

-Don't you think it gives my look an original touch?

She rolls her eyes at me.

-Lets go.- She says.

* * *

Her one shoulder purple blouse shines under the few lights that are inside and her white shorts are a strange sight. All looks as bizarre as my friend´s clothing: the colors and shapes. Girls and boys dance to the music beat, they drink their beverages in perky shaped glasses and laugh so loud that the sound comes as part of the song playing in the speakers.

-Kari!- Shouts a very familiar voice. Then, when he is closer, he adds (making each syllable longer):- I can't believe you are here!

By his way of speaking, the blush on his cheeks and by the way he has to hold on me in order to stand straight, I know something is not quite right. I close my eyes, I is too early for him to e this drunk. I make him put an arm over my should as I pass one of my own around his waist so he can lean on me. It seems we are hugging and he notices it.

-Why are you so cuddly?- I roll my eyes and push him to start walking. He laughs.- I'm not complaining,- he clumsily pulls me closer,- not at all.

-Don't be silly,- I complain pushing him slightly- I'll find you a somewhere to sit.

We wander awhile among the crowd and without noticing, he was the one who guided me where we are now: right in front of the bar. I glare at him hinting that it is not funny at all, he just shrugs and gives me a playful smile. He acts as if he didn't have seen my look of disapproval while he orders. When the barman gives him two glasses full of alcohol he offers me one.

-No.

-Come on Kari,- he insists offering me a Little glass, putting it in front of me- drink one shot with me and the, you can kiss me.- I glare at him, he leaves his shot in front of him and he leans over the bar with a weird smile. Is he resigned? Truthfully, I don't know for sure, I can't say.- Fine… I promise you that this will be my last one, for tonight.

My fingers touch the cold glass.

-I wonder what is the reason why I don't believe you.- I say with a sigh.

He smiles and his eyes are illuminated by the pulsating lights. These make them look hypnotizing. Usually, I am not one of those people that follow the crowd in this matter and today it is not the exception, because I didn't take the little glass from him due to social pressure but to my own memories. I bring it closer to my nose, the smell is very strong.

-For our senior year.

There are some changes that are necessary. There are some people that are destined to stay in our lives. There are some people that are destined to go their ways. That's life.

-For our senior year.

_I just hope I can cope what is coming._

Both of us put the empty glasses on the bar.

-Another one?- He asks me with his eyebrows raised, I just look at him. He passes a hand through his already messy hair.- That's alright. At least I tried.

I give him a half smile.

-It is time.- I say with a head movement.

He nods and puts an arm around my shoulders; I, around his waist. We walk like that for some time until he tenses up. I look at him with questions in my eyes, but he is oblivious to this: he maintains his eyes focused somewhere in front. I try to see what has him like this and I soon regret knowing it.

-I didn't expect to see you in a place like this.- Say the boy with eyes of the color of a jade with deep voice.

I straighten up in order to seem in control, which is far away from how I feel at the moment. Daisuke pulls me into him. The other boy doesn't make a comment, he just stands there looking amused.

-It wasn't on my plans.-I tell him truthfully.

He presses his lips together and nods as if he knew I was going to answer that. The messy haired boy tries, without much success, to burn a hole through the other one with his glare. The boy, with eyes of the color of a jade, smirks.

-Maybe I'll see you around.

Sincerely I hope you won't.

I pull the hem of the heir of my brother´s goggles and start walking away._ I can't believe I've found him here, he is supposed to live in another town, or something along the lines_. We pass through the crowd with difficulty. _Here I am trying to forget something, but the past continues to haunt me_.

-I can't believe you went out with the likes of him.

-Shut up.

I continue pulling him. He can barely follow my lead, but I can't even consider caring about it.

-Do you know the chairs at on the other side?- He manages to asks me.

-Yes.

-Are we going to…?

-Yes.

He looks at me alarmed.

-I don't think you should…

\- I don't think _you_ should be the one telling me _that_.

I can feel how his body is shaken by his laughter.

-I guess you have a point.- He says between snickers.

Of course I have one.

When we make it to the bar, I start a competition with myself. I lose the count in the _shot_ number seven. From then, my vision becomes very blurry. Without noticing it, I find myself dancing to the beat of the music playing on top of a table with many people-mostly boys- around. How did I got there? I don't know and truthfully, right now, I don't care.

-What do you think you are doing!?- Asks a voice I know well.

I ignore him and continue dancing. The other boys clap and urge me to continue.

-Come with me!- I can barely hear him over the music.

I cross looks with a blue one for a second before I start to dance boldly. I can feel him frown, even if I'm not in front of him. I just know when he does that. I play with my hair and seconds later, I am doubled over his shoulder.

-Let go of me!

The guys that were watching my show complain.

-No way.- He says in very serious tone.

I get myself more comfortable on his back by putting my elbows to hold my tired head. The slow movement that his walk makes is soothing the headache I dint know I had. Suddenly, he puts me down and sits me in the porch.

-I will bring you a glass full of water.- He informs me before he walks away quickly.

Between the dance, the shock of a retreat such as this one and the cold air, the alcohol effects lower considerably.

I sigh as I hug my legs to my chest. The moon looks enormous up in the sky and the stars shine to bring up the beauty of their queen. The noise of the water fountain and the crickets calms me. Well, a little, because many questions unanswered run through my head. _Why does the have to be here? After so much time… Why did I have to behave like that? This is not me. It wasn't just the alcohol, I know it well, it was my cowardly… Why did you have to notice? You didn't forget… just like I didn't?_

Suddenly, I can hear the noise from the party, the door closing and a couple of slow steps towards me.

-I've never seen the stars shine that bright or a bigger moon.

He sits by me side and offers me a red cup. I take it. Our fingers brush and his stay a little longer than necessary.

-It is because the sky is darker.

A small smile is form on my lips.

\- It is because the sky is darker.- I agree.

Even if I am still toking up, I can feel his eyes on me. He wants to tell me something, I know. He opens and closes his mouth. For someone so eloquent with written words, he sure has some trouble with speaking them up. I don't blame him. I don't know how to start a civil conversation with him, not anymore.

-Hey…

I've noticed he doesn't call me by my name. In fact, he tries not to say my name, nickname, surname or whatever. When he talks to me he says "hey" or simply doesn't say that part, just like me. It must be weird calling someone who was very close, but now it is a complete stranger. You can't call him by his nickname; the trust is not the same. You can't call him by his last name, it would be like erasing all the memories and sadly, it is not our case. Choosing an option would lead to an awkward position or to talk about it and, maybe it is weird that a girl thinks like this but I don't want to discuss it.

_I am weird and I know it._

-Did you see him?- He says slowly as if hoping not to confirm his suspicions.

I continue looking at the stars. He gets tired of waiting for an answer, so he imitates my position by putting his weight on his hands and throwing his head back to see the night sky. I giggle: it is so strange and familiar at the same time. He doesn't comment, it is his turn anyway.

-Why do you think I am like this?

He tenses up, even though he tries to not be obvious I notice.

-I would never had guess that he would be here.- I continue without even glancing at him.

-It was crazy seen him here, of all places.- He nods.

I play with my feet.

-Why would you even consider being with a guy like him?- He ask, as if the question was meant to be to himself, very quietly.

I stay still for a second, then, I keep playing with my feet. The silence blends in the atmosphere between us. It is slowly becoming a habit, every time it is a little bit easier, just like in the old times.

-It was a time of changes.-I pause, and then I whisper without thinking it through- Did you ever considered breaking your promise?

The crickets are still there, just as the water keeps falling down.

-The moon is always there, even if you can't see it.- He comments.

-The moon has a darker side.

_The truth is there, in what we don't see, or in what it shows us?_

-Haven't we all one?- He reminds me.

_I was just saying that she is… intimidating_. His voices echoes in my memories. I thought I played well my part, the sweet Hikari, the one person who wouldn't hurt anybody. Is it too easy see through my mask or it is just him who can do it?

-Are you talking about me?- I ask amused.- I am an open book.

His sarcastic laughter doesn't make me wait for its appearance. I look curiously at him.

-It seems the alcohol affected you more than I thought it had.

I make a face.

-Actually the fresh air and the water helped a lot.

To be honest, I am still a little dizzy, but I won't acknowledge it. His blue orbs penetrate in my very soul. I try to look away, the intensity is terrifying. _I don't remember it that way_.

-You shouldn't have drank that much just because you saw him.- He tells me in a serious tone.

I chew my tongue for it wasn't just that. Although I have to admit it was the last straw. I don't realize the alarming short distance between us, due to the fact that I'm in my own personal word. When I notice, I remember…

-You can't just kiss someone because you want.

-Just you.- He makes me come closer to him by holding my waist.

-Are you trying to confuse me?- I ask in a whisper, his cologne (or his singular smell) brings back memories that I´ve buried long time ago.

-Why are you so obsessed in turning me in the bad guy? I'm not one.

No, you are not one. I wish you were, that way all would be much simpler.

-I don't know.- With his thumb he draws circles in my waist. After thinking about it, I add:- It is not important.

-You say it is not, but I can see in your eyes that you think different.

I told you when you left that no matter what happen it would be fine and you promise that you will always be there for me. We both lied, we can't control the future. Why did we made those silly promises? My best friend went away to another continent. That goodbye made a hole in my heart.

I answer him with a bitter smile.

-Being alone is better that to be with people that will only hurt you.

A little after, I was still in pain and another one came, he enter my life without me noticing, he erased some memories and created others. They weren't all good. When I discovered his scheme, I was sad but I didn't felt so bad as when you left.

-You can't evade deception forever. Life is about that and keep moving on no matter what.

_No, I can't evade deception forever._

The silence is present again. The soft breeze caresses my skin and the fall of the water is music to my ears, those are my distractions, what keep me from thinking about his hand in my waist. I can't seem to gather forces to tell him to take it out. I don't know if I want to.

-Can we start again?- He asks after some time.

I frown.

-I don't think that…

-I don't mean for us to forget all.- He draws circles again on my waist. His gaze is concentrated in the fountain.- Even after all those years, which are relatively a lot considering our age, the memories are still intact.

_I know, it has happened to me._

-What do you say?- He asks softly.

What do I say? I say I want to go back to when we met; I want to know the simplicity of a smile. I want to go back: before I got conscious of the marital problems, those creepy looks from my neighbors, before you left, of my silly decision of trusting someone who isn't trustfully, of thinking you would stick to your word, that I would stick to my word.

-I should go.- I say as I stand up.

He looks at me from his position, his eyes tell me "I need an answer, please". A small smile forms in my face without my contentment. I offer him a hand. He looks at it strangely.

-Would you mind walking me?

He keeps looking at it for a while longer. He nods for himself, he stands up by his own and takes off his white jacket with little patters in black and green.

-What are you doing?

He puts it over my head, messing my hair in the process.

-Hey!- I complain.

-It is cold.- He smiles and it reaches his blue orbs.

He hugs me and I let him.

It is the alcohol. It is the unexpected encounter. It is the past.

* * *

A/N:Thanks for reading! See you next month.


	9. Girls outing, sort of

**Chapter 9**

A few days- when i thought everybody was watching me, gossiping- past me by. I was desperate, I was so used to be either ignored or seen a the good little Kari that those looks were threatening me to make me crazy. All I can guess is that there are some rumors from the party, probably ones that were started by the now evident distance of the golden couple (that is no more, if you think you can trust his words). All the female population - and some of the male too- is watching closely for his next move. But, he is trying so hard to be normal.

_Thanks, gods_.

If he wasn´t, I am pretty sure that he would have approach me. I don´t intend to put myself in a higher position or something like that. However, that conversation... I can´t help but to think that all of it was a terrible idea. I don´t wan´t to suffer, I have been distancing from people for so long and now this is ruing me. I have chosen to not feel the pain of being broken by another, I don´t want to go back to those times when I suffer because of the other one or because them... Their masks were the beginning of mine.

_Again, can someone please tell me why did I tell him that? It is all my fault, right?_

-Kari!- I turn to see my friend, who is running to catch up on me. Once she is in front of me, she smiles and says:- you will come with me to the mall.

I make a face, clearly not thrilled by the idea (or the imposition if you may). The last time I accompanied her we walked for six hours, plus we went with Mimi, one of Tai´s friends. They both decided that they needed to buy clothes, so much that they will have to throw out or give away ALL the items that they had at home. Seeing them try stuff wasn´t the hard part, the worst was knowing that for every 15 items they tried on they would buy just one. Besides, I finish this experience with soar feet, I had blisters with blisters on them... I don´t have to tell you for you to guess that I couldn´t walk for a good few days.

-I don´t think that is a good idea.- I say softly.

She pouts.

-Don´t be such a party pooper, Mimi can´t come, she is in US.- She crosses her arms to transmit power.- What type of best friend are you?

I hate when she does that. It makes me feel guilty to the bone, no matter how much I´ve tried not to feel like that. I used to feel guilty about everything even if it wasn´t my fault.

I try to look in another direction. She continues complaining. I close my eyes and press my lips, I know for sure that what I am about to say will not be good for my physical health.

-Fine, I´ll go.

-Bingo!

* * *

We planed to see each other near the water fountain close to the food court. That is the reason why I am seated on it waiting for her. I decided to used my white top, blue jeans, pink sandals and a yellow bag; something simple but that won´t be the point of critics. I play with my phone while I wait for my friend.

-Kari!- I hear a excited yell.

I look up and find myself in front of something totally unexpected. A girl with long purple hair and a bright smile has her arms around two boys. They both look defeated. _Against Yolei there is no battle someone else could win_.

-Look who I´ve found.-She tells me still smiling but looking to Ken.

-Yolei,- I reprimand - you shouldn´t have make them come.- She pouts - I am sure that they had other plans, did you even asked them?

-I did!- She retorts crossing her arms over her chest. I just send her a look and she thinks a little. Seconds later her arms fall to her side.- I did, didn´t I?

My poor friend doesn´t even know when she does stuff like this...

The blond boy distracts himself with the people passing by trying not to be part of this conversation but the other boy puts one hand on Yoli´s shoulder. She just directs her eyes to her shoes.

-We will like to join you, it it is not a problem.- He declares.

The negative outcome of her reckless behavior will be suffered just by two of us and those aren´t the ones that made the decision. Yolei is, with out a doubt, the happier one.

* * *

We wander around without knowing exactly what we should do.

The girl with glasses stops randomly to see some shop. At times like those, she is pushing me or making her _prince_ accompany her, he smiles at her every time. The last time I see them is when she saw something far away and started running and dragging him with her. I was prepared to go after them but I realized that the other member of the improvised group was left behind. He was watching something.

-Yolei and Ken ran off... - I start explaining while I approach.

But he is not listening, he is watching intently, unmoving. I move closer to see what had him like that. A small smile takes control of my lips, I recognize it.

-Do you still have it?- He asks so softly that if I wasn´t right by his side I wouldn´t have heard.

I am not even sure if the question was intended to be heard, but I still nod. He doesn´t comment, so I´m not sure if he saw.

-It is on my desk, at home.- I articulate in the same tone. _Home_...

His lips move upwards.

-It is too big to be on the shelve.- He comments.

Before I could answer, the bells sound as he enters the shop. I am dumbfounded, but recover myself quickly and I follow him inside. Once there, I spot him quite fast since we are the only costumers there. I walk up to his right side.

-It is so weird,- he reveals as he turns a little animal at the end of a key chain- I always thought that Patamon was a pig that went wrong.

His comment caught my attention so I approached to get a better view. Indeed, what is in between his fingers resembles the stuffed animal that I gave him when we were kids. Those were good days.

-I told you I knew how to sew.

I show him my tongue. He examines me with a spark in his blue eyes that I haven´t seen in a while. Without a thought, I play with my hair so the eye contact is broken. When I turn again, he has another one in his hand.

-Gatomon- I whisper automatically.

-The only thing missing is the purple tail.

I made him Patamon and he gave me Gatomon. I remember clearly the day he gave it to me as a present, he had red eyes and wouldn´t tell me why. Soon after he confessed that Matt was the cause of the unusual color of my stuffed kitten´s tail. It seems that he was making some posters for his band with purple paint and that when T.K. saw that big can he tried to make his brother leave. Tragically, Matt has something in common with Tai, they love to bully their younger siblings from time to time. One thing let to another and the snow white present ended with some unplanned purple decoration. Naturally, I didn´t care at all, I was just happy to recieved something from my best friend, someone that cared.

-Excuse me, what is the price?- he moves his attention to he seller, an old man with a big mustache, a ponytail that unites what he has left of hair and a name tag with "Gennai" engraved on it.

-They are on sale, two for the price of one.- He answers with husky voice.

-Great, I´ll take both.

I leve them so they can do the transaction by themselves. I look around and when I realize the man is giving the boy the ticket, I go back to them. The blonde boy says thank you and the old man smiles.

-That is a nice girl by your side.- I am surprised by his comment.- I hope you know how to take care of her.

_Right, as if…_

-I will.- He assures.

_What?_

He passes his right arm around my shoulders and guides me out of the store.

We walk a little before I realize that we are in some kind of embrace, really close to each other. It is so weird and so normal at the same time. He removes his arm suddenly. I inquire with my eyes, but he looks the other way. I can see the blush in his cheeks though.

-I´m sorry.- He whispers.

I want to tell him that it does not matter, but something inside me says I should not. It is not time yet. It would be too fast. Also I am not sure I want this. So we continue our walk.

Apparently, our destiny is an ice cream parlor. I'm going to ask what we do there when he asks me if I want vanilla ice cream with pieces of strawberries, I'm too surprised at this: that he remembers my favorite flavor to do anything other than nod. So when he indicates a free site, I take a seat like an automaton. Soon after, he is back and offering me the cone, careful not touch me and then, he sits in front of me.

-I´ll give you the money back.

He looks as if I just insult him, shakes his head, but it is not enough for me to stop wanting to pay him for the ice cream. As changing the subject, he pulls something out of his pocket and offers it to me. It is one of the key chains that he bought, is the little white cat.

-I can´t accept it. I-

-It is yours.- Interrupting he sentences after leaving the small object in front of me.

I observe him a while longer. _This boy__… I can´t… It is so easy to give in when he is like this_.

-Let me pay the ice cream.- I know he will protest, so I argue:- If you don´t, I won´t accept mini Gatomon. What is fair is fair.

He takes a deep breath defeated, but smiles. I didn´t know that I missed _that_ much his smile until now.

_Someone control my heart!_

-¡Hmm hmmm!

Weirded out we turn to see who made that noise.

-Is you talk with your mouth full, we won´t understand.- Ken gently reminds her.

She smiles like a little kid when busted. Swallows and looks at us accusingly.

-Where were you?- Asks with a finger pointing us.

I feel like my cheeks light up, despite not having planned to stay alone with him. The blond is unmoved by her acussation, he keeps eating his ice cream as if nothing had passed.

Your you ran off, - he says still concentrated on the dessert - we look for you a while, but it is hot in here and ... here we are.- He ends with a shrug.

Ken keeps his hands in his pockets. Yolei expression changes every two seconds to end a revealing her obvious regret, I bet she did not realize when she ran hand in hand with the dark-haired boy. I taste my ice cream while watching closely.

-It is ok, I forgive you.- She decides placing both hands on her hips.

The blond boy and I are marvel by her words.

_So out of caracter_.

* * *

A/N: I´m really sorry for not updating sooner... I am full of things, but I want to finish this somehow, probably will take some time to continue, but I´ll do it. Promise.

If you have follow this story and kept reading even though I´m a mess, THANK YOU 3 YOU ARE AWSOME and I AM SORRY


	10. Music doesn t soothe the beast

**Chapter 10**

-May we leave now!?- complains Tai.

-Just one minute!-shouts back my friend.

-Yolei, please, stop playing with my sister as if she was a Barbie doll.-He says exasperated.

-I don´t know who is worst: you or her. Why don´t you both relax a little?

-I really think this is enough.- I tell her calmly as I stand up.- Thank you.-I finish with a small smile.

-But I haven´t...

-I can survive with just some color on my lips. Besides, we are going to be alone, right? There is no need for more.

-But...!

-Let´s go!- Orders my brother.

Yolei is still pouting when I am collecting my things.

-We better go before he kill us.

She snorts, but either way, she pick up her stuff too.

-I´ll have my revenge.- She threatens us as she leave the building.

Tai and I share a look. He smirks and with his hand gestures for me to go first out the door. I do as he asks, he follows and clases softly the door. In no time, we arrive at Yolei´s home.

-Here you are girls, I´m going to Matt´s concert. Have fun and don´t do something I wouldn´t. - He starts to leave, but then he stops himself and turns around: - Don´t do something I would do either.

-So… movie night?

A cheshire cat smile is forming in her lips as she sees my brother getting out of sight.

-Movie... right.- She says while she closes the door.

Once inside, she cleans the place. I follow close behind.

-Yolei,- I stammer fearful- what are you doing?

Before she could even open her mouth, we hear the bell ringing. She runs to the door, but doesn´t open it until she is sure everything is were it is supposed. Who is waiting outside her door you may ask, well you can easily imagine after her behavior.

-Good afternoon.- greets Ken.

-Hi, come in.

Yolei takes him by his arm and pulls him in, behind them is his best friend. I rebuke her with the look I send to her direction, it was supposed to be a girls night. It is already bad that I have to miss "The Teenage Wolves" concert, now I´ll have the constant reminder of it while they are with us.

-Is there something wrong?- He asks unsure.

-No.- I answer too fast.

His face darkens. I regret being so abrupt, but do not know if I should tell the truth or anything at all for that matter.

-I´m sorry, it´s just…- I try to explain, but the girl with the glasses interrupts me.

-Well, everyone is here, let´s go!

-We are going? Where?- I inquire a little skeptical.

-To a concert.

* * *

The sounds in the high speakers are incredibly loud.

The fans scream, the musicians play, the singer does his thing, the bartenders are juggling drinks and the drunk people fight. Yes, I'm exactly where I should not. Don´t even know how they let me in, I look as if I was fifteen and this is a bar where the young people who attend are more than twenty. Tai will kill me if he ever finds out.

-In any moment now they will be on stage!- screams Yolei on top of her lungs while jumping.

Ken smiles, well he was smiling until he saw his best friend´s not so excited face.

-Aren´t you eager to see your brother performance?

-I´m not a fan of places where there is too much people.- Answers him with sincerity.

It is true, the place is crowded. Luckily and because his brother is the lead singer, the young blonde takes us to a part of the bar that is not filled with people, a little bit away from the madness.

-If that is true, then why do you attend to so many parties?- Asks innocently my friend.

He doesn´t answer, he just looks at me. I look away.

-What are you doing here!?- Complains Yolei.

When I turn around to see the person she is talking to, I see Daisuke smiling slyly.

-Well, can´t I have some fun?

I am sure- so much that I would bet on it- that she wants to respond not so nicely to that, but the hand of her would-be-boyfriend on her shoulder calms her. When I focus again in the heir of my brother´s googles, I find out that he is not alone.

-Hi, Misuki.

-Hello.

The boy with the messy hair comes back to reality after his usual (cat) fight with Yolei, and takes the hand of the girl in his. My friend raises an eyebrow, Ken smirks knowingly, and the young blonde stays behind.

-We should better go.- That is the last thing the boy mutters before pulling the other girl far from us.

Once they were out of sight, Yolei puts her hands on her hips and assures with disbelieve:

-I expected more from her.

The blue eyed boy chuckles as his friend shakes his head. I roll my eyes.

-How are you Odaiba?!

The four of us turn our attention to watch the young man with the microphone. Many incoherent shouts are heard, Matt smirks, probably because they are declarations of love. I can see a really excited Yolei jumping and while she does that Ken can´t stop himself from watching her with the same light in his eyes as… I can sense how the young blonde leans backwards and puts his hands in his pants´pockets.

The place is soon filled with the fans´shouts of adoration when the group starts the first song. My friend imprisons me and her prince with her arms. They are playing our favorite song, so I close my eyes and sing as if nothing else mattered. When I open them, I find the least expected and wanted: a pair of brown eyes glaring at me.

* * *

-What do you think you are doing here?- Tai demands making pressure on my arm with his hand.

He had pulled me outside like a storm, behind followed a flustered Yolei and a concerned Ken. Now, my brother is leaning forward judging me with his eyes.

-You are hurting me.- I try to change the subject that hasn´t even been addressed.

He take back his hand, but crosses his arms.

-So?- He insists.

-Everything is fine.- Interjects nervously my friend.- It is just a little outing; you did it too when you were our age.

Tai glares at her, Yolei shuts up inmediately, Ken puts an arm around her shoulders (protecting her I guess). My brother looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

-You never said I couldn´t come.

-I never said you could.

-She is no longer a little girl, Tai. Stop trating her like that.

The blondes could pass as twins. The main difference is that one has a mystery aura and the other of fantasy. My brother, on the other hand, is looking as if he wanted massacre them. I am scared for their safety.

-No te metas.- threatens gravelly.

As an acto of reflex, my eyes open widely. I´ve never heard him use that tone before. Ever.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you, readers!


	11. Loose ends

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon._**

**_Chapter 11_**

Some days I think that it would be better if I were an only child. Today is one of those days.

I am sitting with my legs crossed on my bed. I am wearing a two sizes big hoodie and black leggings. My hair is in a top knot bun. The wind blowing, the grey skies and the silence that fills the place united form a gloomy atmosphere.

The day of the performance of the Teenage Wolves, Tai and Matt fought like children: for no valid reason and with all their might. If the other two guys that were out with us didn´t do something… well, I don´t know if I want to even think about what could have happened. My brother ended up with a black eye and several bruises; the older blonde, with a split lip and bruises. What started as a spontaneous outing (at least for me) turned out to be the cause of a fight and of a prohibition. I don´t have to tell who fought for you to know and about that prohibition, well, I am not even allowed to breath the same air as the blue eyed brothers.

_Ha! As if I wanted to spend my time with them. Tai made me a favor. Really_.

My cell phone vibrates, it´s an incoming message. A half smile forms on my face after seeing who he is. "The unmentionable": the sender appears on the screen. Apparently he wants to talk or something. I do not know what he wants, because the assignment that we had together is already done and submitted. There is nothing else for us to talk. Anything.

My eyes move automatically to my closet. _Perhaps I should…_

I stretch my legs until they fall off the edge of the bed. I lean on my hands for a while before using them to stand on. I walk slowly to the mirror and study my reflection. I look untidy, emotionless, I have spoken my hair dark circles and my hair shoot in all directions.

-Maybe is time to change.- I mutter to myself undoing my hair and taking between my fingers a lock of hair.

I take the scissors and soon, on the floor of my room a small mountain of brown hair can be seen. The haircut has been improvised as the one I had as a child. I go for a dustpan and broom in order to clean up the mess I caused. Once it´s cleaned, I play with what is left of my hair. I feel more free, as if I had taken a weight off me.

A shiver runs down my back when I hear the male voice of my nightmares. I get stiff and immediately a grimace of horror is all over my face. At full speed, I put on my shoes, take some coins, collect the keys, I write on the white board that I will be back soon and quickly leave the department.

_I told you I preferred the fall? It is true, partly._

Voy a paso lento a ningún lugar. The trees are almost naked, the wind blows stronger than before, people walk faster and their clothes are heavier. I think what happened was a sign that told me to take shelter, that I should not be a easy prey.

_This summer __seemed spring, we were the same as before, but at the same time, we were not. Time passes and things will not return to be what they were in the past._

-Hey.

_I am still myself, although a little different. Life does not go on just for the sake of it._

-You- Says the voice.

_Why am I still imagining your voice? I hear it so close and clear…_

-HIKARI!- shouts the same voice filled with despair.

Dead stop. The call did not come from my imagination, I know it when a pair of arms close around my waist and a truck passes in front of me. My eyes open before the realization of what could have happened. His breathing resounds in my ear, some of his blonde strands rub my face.

-You´ve got a new haircut.- He quakes, he hasn´t recovered yet.

Neither have I.

-You called me by my name.- I mumble.

We remain in the same position: both at the edge of the sidewalk, his arms around me and his head resting on my left shoulder.

-You shouldn´t have…- I start, _I don`t want to be a burden_.

-I know.- He mutters against my shoulder, his hair brushing my neck.

I shake my head. You can´t know that.

-I don´t need to be saved, I can handle it myself.- I try to seem convinced.

He smiles at this, I can´t see it, but I know.

-I know.- Before I can protest, he continues:- I wanted to...

He drops his arms. I stay where I was. I hear him take a few steps away.

-Aren´t you coming?

I turn around with caution, he is smiling at me. He is smiling and his eyes shine, although they have a point of concern. Or fear. It seems that he is afraid of my answer. I do not blame him, I also am afraid. Terror accept and panic of not doing it. He saves his hands in his pockets and shrugs.

-It is cold.

I don´t answer, I just watch him. That is something I haven´t done, that I haven´t let myself do for a long time, for some years now.

-There is a coffee shop around the corner.

His smile is still there, I think that hope wins over worry in his eyes. _It is so easy for you, I wish it was the same with me_.

-I shouldn´t.- I stutter grasping my left arm with my right hand.

His face becomes so expressionless before my words that now it can be compared to a mask. I glup. He walks slowly to get closer, he leans until his eyes are at the same level as mine. Again I can see all shades of blue in his irises.

-Why?- He wonders.

I can feel his hot breath on my skin. I should not. I should not. I should not.

-Tai said…

He presses his lips together.

_It is easier this way, the decision has been taken __and it was not me who arranged it that way__._

-What do you think?- He searches for something in my eyes.- Forget Tai, forget everyone.- Now his focus is on my lips.- Do you want to go to drink something hot with me? It is cold.

Before I can answer, we hear male voices, they are now closer. My eyes widen in panic and a chill runs down my spine. The blond frowns.

_I am sorry_.

-I have to go.- I state before running away from there.

I don´t look back. However I get to hear "did you see that?" "yes, I think it was her" "that´s a shame, wanted to have fun" and then laughs. My feet take me to a park, one that I know well. I go to the swings and sit on one of them, I stay there without moving. While I regain my breath, I see children playing happily, their parents talking to each other and watching their children from time to time. I wish I could be so carefree.

I can hear footsteps getting closer. I close my eyes in anticipation.

-You´ve always liked _this_ swing.- There is a pause.- You refused to use another.

My eyes open. I didn´t expect him to be the one who followed me. I am not reassured that it is him, and even less because he remembers. I'm trying to avoid his involvement, he isn´t making it easier.

Suddenly, he pushes me and the swing I am in starts moving. No words come out of my mouth, the will to tell him to go has left my body, so I do not put any excuse to leave. This nostalgic swinging is so soothing.

-Why did you ran away?- He muses anxiously.

I do not know if he wanted me to listen and anyway, I do not want to answer, so I keep quiet. He stops pushing. Turn to him, he comes closer.

-Who were them?- He asks in a tone that I had not heard him use before.

I try to avoid his eyes. He places his hand on my neck to force me to look at him. I let an involuntary giggle out. He realizes what just happened, I know because his clear eyes twinkle mischievously.

-No, please don´t.- I beg standing up.

Despite my request, he does it anyway: he tickles me. I try to avoid it, but I can not. I can so not handle that I lose balance and in an attempt to steady myself, I grabbed him. This gets us both falling on the sand that surrounds the space where the swings are.

-Ouch- We complain in unison.

We share a look and then laugh. I´ve fallen back, with my feet on the swing seat and him by my side. I sighed and looked up at the sky.

-I used to send you letters,- I say with my voice full of nostalgia- I never knew if you ever got them. -My mouth closes for a second.- I never received a reply.- I close my eyes.- Do you remember when I send you that letter in which I asked you the best way to tell someone "no"? Well,- I continue without waiting for an answer, as if I was talking to myself, for a moment I forget that I am talking to another person- it was about _them_. The boys that we passed by before live in my neighborhood.

_Their voices, snickers and taunting live in my head_.

-Are they the same ones that bullied us due to our friendship? Because boys and girls shouldn´t be just friends?- A bitter feeling envelops his words.

-Yes.

_For some time that excuse was overcome and their actions were more extreme than the innocent friendship that they wanted to makes us ashamed for._

-They are just fools.

-They are three fools and I am one girl. It is all about the numbers.

No one speaks. The sound of silence is better.

The silence, in this case, doesn´t make me remember their hands on my body. Sometimes, I can hear the horrible sound of their laughs, taunting me. They didn´t go too far... any of those times... but I still feel dirty.

-It is getting darker.- I excuse myself as I stand up.

-It was already dark.- He corrects me with suspicion in his voice.

-You know what I meant.

He nods and gets up as well.

-I will walk you.

This reminds me: I still have his jacket. I do not know how to return it. I do not want to do it.

* * *

_A/N: This chapter has some information that I didn´t add on the original._


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